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Part
2: Sexual and Reproductive Health Issues of Concern to
Aboriginal People |
Children:
Unit 1 —
Parenting
Be sure to read Part 1
before working on this unit. See these other units for more issues
related to parenting:
Unit 2 — Educating Children and Youth About
Sexuality
Unit 3 — Child Sexual Abuse
Unit 5 — Teen Pregnancy
Unit 9 — Healthy Pregnancies
Unit 11 — The Residential School Experience
Unit 12 — Grandparents
Unit 14 — Two-Spirit People and Sexual Diversity
Unit 15 — Family Violence
Introduction
 Loving
your child is the most important part of being a parent, but it is not
the only part. Parenting skills are like any other skills and need to be
learned.
Being a parent can be a hard job.1
(click
here for footnote)
Being a parent is both exciting and
difficult! It is exciting because it gives adults the chance to share
their knowledge and skills with the next generation. Children are gifts
from the Creator and deserve to grow in families and communities that
show them unconditional love, teach them respect and prepare them for
life. For many Aboriginal people, this is a challenge. Parents struggle
to make ends meet or to deal with unemployment and the loss of
traditional livelihoods. Family support may be lacking, and many adults
today do not feel they had a positive experience as children that would
prepare them to be good parents.
Today, parents, grandparents, other
family members and communities are working to get back what was lost and
to help each other raise healthy children. We are rediscovering our
traditions and building on our strengths. We are helping our children to
develop strong and proud identities, to believe in themselves and to
care for others, all of which contribute to sexual health in the new
generation!
 Pilot
coordinator Willow says:
We used the handout "Someone I Need" with our youth group. The
youth sat in a circle, we gave them 10 minutes to complete the handout,
and then we shared parts that each person felt comfortable sharing. This
activity helped the youth realize the support systems in their lives.
Willow Boulanger, Positive Adolescent Sexuality Support Project, Ma Mawi
Wi Chi Itata Centre, Winnipeg, Manitoba
Becoming a Better Parent
I
also used the Thursday night parenting class. I’d tried before and
walked away in previous years, but now I was ready. You see, when I
learned of my pregnancy, I vowed not to be my parents. I read every book
I could get my hands on. I was an expert! Then he was born. He cried, I
cried, he cut teeth and cried. He was more than I could handle … it
wasn’t until I saw the fear, hurt and distrust in my son’s eyes that
I realized I had unconsciously become my parents, disciplining in the
same way as those priests and nuns had. I did not want to destroy my
children’s rights to love, peace, respect, laughter and innocence, a
life free of violence and emotional abuse. I wasn’t going to kill
their spirits. I grew, I learned and changed my ways. I wanted to
nurture them, make them proud, bright, intelligent and strong for our
people.2 (click
here for footnote)
Cultural Teachings
 When
"parenting" is mentioned in our communities, the loss of our
parenting skills is always discussed. There are a lot of outside
influences that have affected and will continue to affect our people,
such as the residential and boarding school experience, the changing of
our traditional lifestyle, our language which is struggling to survive
— we could list endlessly. But we can also look at the aspects of our
culture we still have. For example, our sense of humour has always been
a strong point in our culture. In the midst of all the struggles of our
parents, many of us can remember the laughter. We can teach our children
how to cope with life. One way to help them is to maintain a balanced
perspective by teaching them to look at the positive side and at the
humorous side of life. We ensure our survival as a people when our
"culture" is able to adapt to the changes in the dominant
society. We have to hang on to the importance of our families, our
children, our communities. There is a recognition and growing acceptance
that we as "Anishinawbeg" have our own systems in place that
have and will continue. We have never lost the skills. They are still
there.3 (click
here for footnote)
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Traditional Values Practised in Healthy Extended
Families
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Values
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Parents
teach a sense of right and wrong.
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Communication
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Family
members communicate and listen.
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Respect
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Respect
for others is practised and taught.
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Trust
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A
sense of trust develops between all family members.
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Responsibility
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A
sense of shared responsibility is shared by all members.
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Support
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Members
affirm and support one another.
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Balance
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Family
members try to balance school, home, community and family
times.
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Spirituality
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Family
finds its strength in a spiritual foundation.
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Time
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Family
members make an effort to spend quality time together.
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Respect
for Privacy
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Family
members respect the privacy of one another.
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Traditions
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Rituals
and ceremonies are observed and enjoyed together.
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Leisure
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Family
members have a sense of play and humour.
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Humility
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Family
members know to seek help when they need it.
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Service
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Parents
teach and practise helpful service to Elders and others.4
(click
here for footnote)
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In
the Inuit way of life, parents speak to their children with care and
respect. This respect went both ways, parents to children and children
to parents. Now, social workers, the court system, teachers — all have
their ways of teaching and dealing with children. The peer group makes
young people vulnerable. Our children are listening to social workers
and to their teachers more than to their parents and have no more
respect for what their parents are trying to teach them. And yet parents
are the first contact for the children. It seems to be more important to
do what you see than to respect what is taught at home.
Inuk from Labrador
How a child is raised has an influence on every part
of his life and how he will parent his own children in the future. It is
important to raise awareness about how important being a good parent is
to the whole community. Programs against communal and family violence
can include innovative, holistic parenting classes that help adults, as
parents and community members, to provide the safe and happy environment
every child wants and deserves.
Supporting Good Parenting in Our Communities
Before contact, we had histories, cultures and
identities. The system was based on harmony and balance, and everyone in
the family had a role. Taking care of children was valued as being very
important, and parenting began before the child was born. Children were
considered individuals — gifts to be loved and valued. Participants in
a recent national youth conference, "Empowerment and Healing,"
sponsored by the Assembly of First Nations, made these recommendations:
- Develop traditional parenting classes to be taught
in schools.
- Provide daycare services for parents who
wish to continue their education.
- Offer workshops on personal wellness to
parents — healthy parents produce healthy
children.
- Provide training on anger management for
children.
- Instruct parents on the importance of
teaching children respect.
- Advise new parents about the steps of
child development.5 (click
here for footnote)
Supporting Families Disrupted by Adoption and Foster Care
From the 1960s to the present, large numbers of Aboriginal children
were removed from their homes and communities and placed in
non-Aboriginal families. Many of the families affected are now trying to
reunite and heal. We can support these individuals by encouraging them
to tell their stories, strengthen themselves and enlighten others.
I
don’t think, as parents, we do enough for our children. I know many
are on a healing journey and it will come in time.
Cree woman from Northern Manitoba
Pilot
coordinator Willow says:
The facilitator of our parenting program used the material in this unit.
Parents had told her they have a hard time talking to their kids about
sexuality. She used the story on becoming a better parent as an ice
breaker. "Cultural Teachings" was read through with the group.
There was lots of discussion and interaction.
Willow Boulanger, Positive Adolescent Sexuality Support Project, Ma Mawi
Wi Chi Itata Centre, Winnipeg, Manitoba
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The
Family Place
This innovative project is an
outreach and support facility in Port Hardy, BC. Programs and
professionals help children, youth and families identify,
express, make a priority of and achieve their personal goals in
a positive way. Services include: one-to-one outreach, informal
counselling, group activities and help to access other service
providers.
The staff at the Family Place
believes that everyone has strengths and that support and
acceptance help people to use and build on their strengths in
order to make positive changes in their lives.
The Family
Place’s goals for families are:
- personal growth and positive
lifestyle choices
- healthy pregnancies, healthy
newborns, babies, children, youth and adults
- freedom from addiction and
substance abuse
- safe, nurturing home
environments
- good family nutrition
- success in school and work
- staying together as a family.6
(click
here for footnote)
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The
print version of the Sourcebook also contains information on
print, web-based and audio-visual resources, and sample
materials on parenting. |
1
Community Programs for Healthy Inuit Babies: Guidelines, Healthy
Inuit Babies Working Group, Pauktuutit Inuit Women’s Association,
Ottawa, 1995, p. 12. (back
to paragraph)
2
Celebrating Healing Experiences: A Profile of Some of the Projects
Funded by the Aboriginal Healing Foundation, Aboriginal Healing
Foundation, Ottawa, 2000. (back to paragraph)
3
Raising the Children: A Training Program for Aboriginal Parents, An
Overview, Raising the Children Program, Sioux Lookout, Ontario,
1997, p. 7. (back to paragraph)
4
Adapted from various sources. (back to paragraph)
5
Inclusion, Empowerment and Healing: National Youth Conference Summary
Report, Assembly of First Nations, Ottawa, 1997, p. 21. (back to paragraph)
6
Program Progress Report to October 2000, Elaine Hanlon, Family
Place Partnership, Port Hardy, BC, October 2000, pp. 5-7. (back to paragraph)
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