Be sure to read Part 1 before working on this unit. See these other units for more issues related to grandparents:

Unit 1 — Parenting
Unit 2 — Educating Children and Youth About Sexuality
Unit 11 — The Residential School Experience
Unit 13 — Menopause

Introduction

I was born and raised on the Lake St. Martin Reserve about 187 miles north of Winnipeg. I was one of 13 children born to my mother who is still living on the reserve. As a young girl, my mother used to teach me how to care for my younger brothers and sisters. I am a mother and a grandmother now, and I am teaching and encouraging my daughters in the traditions of Aboriginal child rearing.

Grandmothers gave us information to lead healthy lifestyles, by their examples and their teachings. They taught that we must take responsibility for our own well-being by setting long-term, as well as short-term goals for wellness, family healing and taking care of our own. The basic principles for achieving wellness are kindness, honesty, sharing and strength. These four gifts must be practised as a way of life to prevent illness.1 (click here for footnote)

As Grandmothers and Grandfathers, we have an important place in Aboriginal cultures. We are often the keepers of traditional knowledge and the advisors to younger generations. If we are able, we are actively involved in family and community life, often caring for grandchildren and great-grandchildren. We have many opportunities to pass on the values and beliefs of the culture to children and youth and are natural sexuality educators as a result.

First Nations, Inuit and Métis men and women in the middle and older years want to "age well," stay in balance and continue on the healing path. We have many issues and concerns as we adjust to changes in roles and activity levels, and deal with new health challenges. Sexual health — healthy relationships, menopause, sexual functioning, etc. — is as important as it ever was.

Unfortunately, our generation was strongly affected by the residential schools and the sexual guilt and shame that religious organizations of the time promoted. We need to find ways to take care of ourselves and heal in ways that make sense to us, as we participate in family and community life.

Because of the loss of culture and the move away from traditional beliefs, Grandmothers and Grandfathers may not enjoy the respect and honour that once was afforded us. You can assist and support older community members by listening to our concerns and beliefs, including us in community programs, making sure that health services respond to our needs, and developing programs that use our traditional roles to educate and support the younger generations.

We’re Just One Big Happy Family In the city strange and cold where do I go whom do I hold? Ah, the grannies the grannies my new friends the old ladies. Speak my language laugh with glee eat the bannock drink some tea.2 (click here for footnote)

Respect and Inclusion

Old
Those hands
So soft,
                      Held me at birth,
                      Nurtured me and made
                      Me of my worth,
                      You sang to my ears,
                      You told me stories,
                      You were there for all these years,
                      You held your dreams with mine,
                      You were there
                      Within time,
                      Now it’s my turn
                      To do the same,
                      For I have learned from you
                      GRANDMA.
                      Young woman from Alberta

Here are some suggestions for respectfully involving Grandparents in community programs:

• Be respectful of the desire for privacy and a reluctance to speak openly about sexual and reproductive health matters.
• Remember that some older community members have had negative and painful sexual experiences. Be prepared for disclosures of abuse and the need to heal.
• Respect the diversity of experiences among older people. Grandmothers and Grandfathers are individuals with their own opinions and ideas, not just representatives of their age group or culture.
• Encourage contact between the generations in cultural and recreational programs, making sure that older people’s needs for respect and safety are met.
• Involve Grandparents as advisors and teachers in parenting programs.
• After talking with them yourself to make sure their message will be positive and appropriate, invite Grandparents into the classroom to talk about cultural values and traditions related to birth, puberty, marriage, parenting, family life, sexual values, etc.
• Train interested older community members to offer workshops in sexuality education, HIV/AIDs prevention, healthy relationships, healthy pregnancies, etc.
• Identify Grandparents’ needs for information, services, and support related to aging and develop programs to meet these needs.

Traditionally, Elders held positions of influence in the community and were well known to everyone. The traditional role of Elders in Aboriginal society has been weakened as a result of colonialism and government efforts to make Aboriginals more "Canadian." The impact has been mostly negative on all generations of the population. As well, there now are "Elders" who call themselves this without being recognized by the community.

[In Inuit culture], elder family members continue to play an important role in family life and are treated with great respect. They are considered wise and important sources of knowledge about the past. They are sought out for their story telling and advice on many issues. Children are still taught to be very respectful towards their elders, to greet them before anyone else, try to anticipate their needs, and not to express knowledge towards elders unless they are asked.³ (click here for footnote)

Grandparents form a bridge between the past, the present and the future. They have experience and wisdom, and most have knowledge of cultural traditions and language that should be passed on to the younger generations (although in some cases, this knowledge has been lost).

According to Aboriginal customs, each individual is responsible to seek direction, guidance and instruction from the Grandmothers and Grandfathers. As one Elder worded it, "we owe it to our ancestors." They have also taught us that we owe it to the unborn future generations.

It is useful to remember that older Métis, Inuit and First Nations community members have had different life experiences than younger generations. For example, First Nations and some Métis people over 40 are likely to have attended residential school and to have witnessed the Aboriginal spiritual and cultural revival that took place in the 1960s. Those of us over 50 likely were raised close to the land, and those over 60 may have had very little childhood contact with non-Aboriginal people.⁴ (click here for footnote) 

Grandparents are once again taking on their extended role in the family which assists in raising and teaching their grandchildren the culture and language. Our young parents find it hard to make it alone.
Sto-lo Nation woman

Grandmothers and Grandfathers can be active participants in family and community activities related to sexual and reproductive health. This can be done formally in organized programs or informally within the family. For example, a booklet on HIV/AIDS called Marmalade or Jam ... A Recipe for Understanding AIDS begins in this way:

	Elders have a special bond with youth. These bonds of love and trust with youth are important when talking about AIDS.
	Northern Elders are survival experts. Elders can teach youth about living smart and staying alive. They can use lessons from the past to show the way in today’s world.
Elders talking with youth about AIDS will help protect future generations. This little book is about finding a way to talk about AIDS. Bea Morin, Annie Norbert, Maggie Mercredi, Vera Morin and Lona Hegeman-Norbert ask you to gather your grandchildren and other youth around you; give them some bannock and jam and start talking about living smart and staying alive — without AIDS.5 (click here for footnote)