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Part
2: Sexual and Reproductive Health Issues of Concern to
Aboriginal People |
Issues for Everyone:
Unit 15 — Family Violence
Be sure to read Part 1 before working on
this unit. See these other units for more issues related to family
violence:
Unit 1 — Parenting
Unit 3 — Child Sexual Abuse
Unit 11 — The Residential School Experience
Unit 16 — Sexual Violence
Introduction
Strong communities work hard to provide a safe environment for their
members to live, work and play. More and more Aboriginal communities are
helping our members rediscover the traditional values and relationships
that existed among them before colonization.
Violence in Inuit, First Nations and Métis families is a concern in many,
many communities, but survivors and abusers also are breaking the silence
and promoting healing in their communities. Abusive behaviour was learned
over many generations, but community leaders believe that the cycle of
violence can be broken by teaching the traditional values of equality,
respect and cooperation.
 Growing
up, I thought it was normal for a man to beat his wife. I can remember the
first time I realized it wasn’t okay, I was about 8 years old, it was
when the next door neighbor was talking with my mom in our kitchen and she
looked at my mom and asked, "Did he do that to you?" My mom didn’t
say anything. But because of the look on the neighbour’s face when she
saw my mom’s black eyes and bruises, it was the first time I realized it
wasn’t okay. Up until then, it was normal.
Métis woman living in northern Ontario
What Does Family Violence Mean to Aboriginal People?
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"My
ex-husband was violent. When I married him I had to leave my home reserve.
I felt so isolated. He intercepted my mail for seven years. My family didn’t
even know where I was. It was like someone took a gigantic eraser and
wiped me from the face of the map. He nearly destroyed me."
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"Very hurting. You keep on remembering even if you try to get it out
of your mind." |
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"People beating up their kids." |
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"Problems affecting the home life, mostly from drinking. Family
members have to leave for safety." |
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"No understanding, no communication, fear in the home, no freedom,
feelings of not being wanted." |
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"It’s within all families in some degree. The sooner we admit to
ourselves it exists, the better. It’s painful, but to hide it, it gets
worse and more people get hurt." 1
(click
here for footnote)
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Ending Family Violence in Aboriginal Communities
As
Aboriginal communities address the many problems that have resulted from
the separation of families and the loss of cultural values and traditions,
they must address violence in the
home. We want our children to grow up in homes that are safe and happy. We
want our women to be treated with respect and dignity. We want our men to
rediscover their inner strength so that they don’t feel the need to use
physical force or to control their families and communities.
Even though most Aboriginal
women are silent about the physical assaults suffered in their homes,
different studies show that as many as 80 percent have been abused by a
partner.2
(click
here for footnote)
When the community thinks that physical assault in the home is a private
matter, they are closing their eyes to a problem that will continue to
grow. It is not possible to live a healthy life when you are the victim of
continuing violence. It also is important to remember that:
- a woman is more likely
to physically assault her children while she lives with an abusive man
- many abused children
grow up to be abusive parents
- many boys who see their
father abusing their mother will abuse their partners, and girls who
see their mother being abused may grow up thinking that violence is
normal in a relationship
When communities decide
that they want to become violence-free, they are protecting everyone.
Together they can work toward teaching parents and young adults other ways
to solve family problems. Parents can learn to be positive role models for
their children to model in their own future families. Family love, respect
and acceptance can replace family violence.
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Mi’kmaq
Family Services
Family Violence Intervention and Prevention Program
Suggestions for Family Violence Prevention
To develop and
maintain a healthful and non-violent lifestyle, healing must take
place on all levels, beginning with the individual, family,
community and environment. This means making healthful choices in
preventing family violence:
- Non-violent
conflict resolution (when problems arise, talk it out).
- Consideration
for yourself, family and community members needs and desires.
- Education in
Family Violence (self, family and community awareness,
intervention and prevention).
- Living and
practising Mi’kmaq cultural values: equality, respect,
protection, responsibility, support, honesty, wisdom, courage,
generosity, bravery and spirituality.
- Participating in
self, family, and community enrichment and leisure activities
that are free from alcohol, drugs, and violence.
- Cultural and
spiritual conferences and gatherings.
- Cultural
enrichment and expression: Dancing, singing, art,
storytelling, games, feasts, socializing with relatives and
community members.
- Attendance and
participation in sports events, hockey, bowling, softball,
archery, canoeing, fishing, etc. ... that are free of alcohol,
drugs and violence.
- Socializing
children to non-violent behaviour (non-violent parent role
models, non-violent conflict resolution, talk things out)
- Attendance at
healing sessions and Family Violence Awareness, Intervention,
and Prevention Seminars and Workshops.3
(click
here for footnote)
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Steps to Creating a Healthy Environment
Public Awareness
— posters, flyers, newspaper articles, pamphlets, public meetings,
displays, forums and media coverage. These activities get the public to
begin to think about the issue, and influences them to take positive steps
to decrease family violence.
Public Education
— provide information and skills to put information to use. Possible
topics include: self-worth and self-esteem; changing roles of Aboriginal
men and women, parenting and communication skills; anger management and
the impact of family violence in the community.
Community Action
— a planned and coordinated effort by individuals, agencies and groups
to make positive changes toward improving the quality of life in the
community.
Community Policy Making
— influencing community leadership to incorporate concern about family
violence into community guidelines or codes.4
(click
here for footnote)
 Pilot
coordinator Julie says:
I think a key learning for me in using the Sourcebook was that so many
families are broken and hurt. After much discussion I have found that
focusing on the healing of the family will contribute most to healthy
sexuality. In my dealings with clients I serve I have found that abuse is
a main factor for so many dysfunctions within the family. If even one
family member can break the cycle of abuse it will result in healthier
lifestyles for others.
Julie Borle, Métis Child and Family Services Society,
Edmonton, Alberta
 The
community knows which families are living with violence, but we all keep
the secret. It is only when we break the silence and learn to accept that
we have a problem, the healing can begin.5
(click
here for footnote)
Pilot
coordinator John says:
Our Young Fathers Program used some of the family violence activities with
a group of young men aged 15-29. The group used the Cycle of Violence
activity. The facilitator reproduced the Cycle of Violence diagram on flip
chart paper and gave out the exercise as a handout. Some of the fathers
said they had not seen this information before and were now more clear on
the dynamics of a relationship and the cycle of violence.
John La-liberty, Positive Adolescent Sexuality Support Project, Ma
Mawi Wi Chi Itata Centre, Winnipeg, Manitoba
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A Healing Program
for Abusive Men
The Restoring Our Aboriginal
Roots (ROAR) project is a healing program for abusive Aboriginal
men sponsored by the Cariboo Friendship Society. The program
promotes change through education, confrontation and support. The
group meets five afternoons a week, with one-on-one counselling
available during the mornings. One afternoon per week is set aside
for cultural activities. Optional family work involving partners
of the men and their children is available. Men’s recreation
activities are also part of the program. During the program there
is a one-week Wilderness Experience that is meant to foster
spiritual growth.
It is the man’s responsibility to make contact
with the program. This is the beginning of the process of taking
responsibility for his behaviour and for changing it.6
(click
here for footnote)
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Inuit
women living in situations of family violence are often torn between
leaving the situation and succumbing to pressure to preserve the family
unit or protect the children. Inuit women may be dependent upon their
spouses or partners for financial support and/or housing. The virtual
absence of vacant units and the overcrowding of existing housing in almost
all communities often means there are very few places for women to turn
for temporary shelter.7
(click
here for footnote)
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The
print version of the Sourcebook also contains information on
print, web-based and audio-visual resources, and sample
materials on family violence. |
1
Breaking the Links Between
Poverty and Violence Against Women,
Health Canada, National Clearinghouse on Family Violence, Ottawa, 1996.
Available at: www.hc-sc.gc.ca/hppb/familyviolence/html/1breaking.htm
From Dark to Light: Regaining a Caring Community ("Spousal
Abuse"), Status of Women Council of the NWT, Yellowknife, 1995.
(back
to paragraph)
2
Family Violence in Aboriginal Communities: An Aboriginal Perspective,
National Clearinghouse on Family Violence, Ottawa, 1997. (back to paragraph)
3
Suggestions for Family Violence Prevention, Mi’kmaq Family
Services Family Violence Intervention and Prevention Program. Available
at: www.tec.ednet.ns.ca/~family/viinterv.html
(back to paragraph)
4
A Resource Guide on Family Violence Issues for Aboriginal
Communities, David McTimoney, Health Canada and Department of Indian
Affairs and Northern Development, Ottawa, 1993, pp. 19-23. (back to paragraph)
5
Community Programs for Healthy Inuit Babies: Guidelines,
Healthy Inuit Babies Working Group, Pauktuutit Inuit Women’s
Association, Ottawa, 1995, p. 16. (back to paragraph)
6
Celebrating Healing
Experiences: A Profile of Some of the Projects Funded by the Aboriginal
Healing Foundation, Ottawa, 2000.
Available at: www.ahf.ca/english/documents.html
(back to paragraph)
7
Inuit Women: The Housing Crisis and Violence, Pauktuutit
Inuit Women’s Association, Ottawa, no date, p. 9.
(back to paragraph)
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