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Part 2:  Sexual and Reproductive Health Issues of Concern to Aboriginal People


Children:
Unit 2 — Educating Children and Youth About Sexuality

Be sure to read Part 1 before working on this unit. See these other units for more issues related to educating children and youth about sexuality:

Unit 1 — Parenting
Unit 4 — Youth Sexuality and Sexual Health
Unit 5 — Teen Pregnancy
Unit 8 — Birth Control and Pregnancy Options
Unit 11 — The Residential School Experience
Unit 14 — Two-Spirit People and Sexual Diversity


Introduction

They say in the old days there was a way to talk about this sex business. But I don’t remember anyone showing me. The mission school just told us sex was bad.
So we never knew how to talk about things that were kind of embarrassing. You 
know ... private talk.1 (click here for footnote)


Many adults find it hard to talk about sexuality with young people, especially our own children. We are embarrassed, shy, not sure of the facts, not sure how we feel about masturbation, teen sex, and gay, lesbian and bisexual people. For some Aboriginal people, sexuality education is wrapped up in other issues as well: European and religious ideas that go against traditional knowledge and teachings, and cultural values that have been lost; and early experiences of sexual abuse and later sexual violence that have a negative effect on how we see sexuality.

It is time to reclaim sexuality education as ours: to teach our positive cultural values about sexuality; to deal with the pain of negative experiences so we don’t pass them along to our children, and to prepare our young people to like their bodies, to make good decisions about sexuality, and to live as sexually healthy a life as possible.


The way I was brought up, being the only daughter, with no one to turn to like another sister, I found it difficult to deal with my menstrual cycle. I didn’t know what to expect and how often I would have my periods. My parents kept this very quiet. It wasn’t talked about. I was 15 before I knew how babies were born. My mother protected me from the boys and always told me not to be out too long. I was very shy to say the word sex. I find it very difficult to be open about it when I was brought up in a very private way. As young people we never questioned why.
Inuit woman from Labrador


Cultural Teachings About Sexuality

Traditionally, Aboriginal peoples have had very open views and wide acceptance of sexual practices or orientation. Sex had been seen as a very normal expression of a person’s Spiritual, Emotional, Physical and Mental being.
Sexuality was perceived as much more than just the means of reproduction, it was also seen as a special gift from the Creator that was a means of sharing ourselves with our partner.
Sexuality brought other gifts, as well. Children were brought into this world through sex and were seen as the ultimate gifts from the Creator. If we were blessed with a child, we were to protect and raise that child using the gifts of Kindness, Honesty, Sharing, and Strength. Parents never owned their own children, they guided and protected them, as the children learned to walk their own path.
As children grew and developed through the different stages of life — the Infant, Youth, Adult and Elder — they would be prepared for each stage through special ceremonies such as a Berry Fast (girl) or Vision Quest (boy).
These ceremonies were guided by the individual’s sexual development and were always celebrated.2 (click here for footnote)



Vision Quests were done with the boys. Their grandfather and uncle would take the young man into the wilderness where he would fast for a few days and pray. This was to prepare him for the lessons in life. If one can be in touch with nature and respect all living things he will be rewarded.
Member of the Carrier Nation in British Columbia


Helping Children and Youth Be Sexually Healthy

Self-Esteem

Self-esteem — how valuable, lovable, worthwhile and able we feel we are — is very important to sexual health. Self-esteem is based on life experiences and personal relationships, and can change over time.3 (click here for footnote)   Good self-esteem is one of the most important gifts we can give to a child. Poor self-esteem can have dire, lifelong effects on some children.

I got to the point that I didn’t care what I looked like, I didn’t care who I was having sex with, I didn’t care what happened to me, and I didn’t care if I was going to live to see the next day. It got to the point where nothing mattered.4 (click here for footnote)

We can boost children’s self-esteem by: praising their accomplishments and gently correcting mistakes, listening to them, spending time with them, and helping them develop skills and knowledge.

I first learned about sex in school when I was in Grade 3. It was a good experience because it made me feel sure of my body and myself. It set out the guidelines for what a person should and shouldn’t do. They talked about touching, they talked about abuse, everything. They taught the very basics of sexuality.
These lessons lived on with me into my teens. I think I was more willing to go on birth control because of that education. And I think that because I learned about it in school I was more open to go home to my parents and talk about sex and it kind of opened up that door too. I was able to go home and say, "Mom, I learned about the penis today." It made it so that when it did come time to talk about sex or birth control with my Mom there was no fear about it.
Young Métis woman from Ontario


Sexuality Education

The family — parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles — is the most important teacher of sexuality for children. Positive ideas about sexuality and healthy sexual attitudes and behaviours are learned by example, and what is said and not said, throughout childhood. We can support families in being good sexuality educators by providing information, offering suggestions, holding workshops and reinforcing positive messages. All adults have a responsibility to guide and instruct children in this regard, just as in other areas of life.


Talking to Kids About Sexuality
  • Try to be as relaxed in talking about sexuality as you can.
  • Look at how your own experience of learning about sexuality, early sexual encounters, possible sexual abuse and your family’s values might affect how you talk to kids and the messages you pass on.
  • Pay attention to and learn about the physical changes they are experiencing. You can get information from your family doctor, health centre nurse, local Planned Parenthood, or one of the web sites listed in this unit.
  • Try to anticipate questions and decide in advance how you want to answer them. Ask yourself these questions:
    • Why is he/she asking/doing/saying this? (From the child’s point of view)
    • How do I feel about this?
    • What message do I want to give?
    • What do I say or do to show my feelings in a positive way?
  • Give honest answers. If this is not the right time to talk, tell them so and say when you will be able to talk.
  • Be open to their opinions and ideas.
  • Take opportunities to talk when they happen — when a new baby is born, during a TV program, when something happens in the community.
  • Bring up sexuality topics yourself — kids might be too shy or think it is disrespectful to talk about these things.
  • If a child or teen is uncomfortable talking to you, encourage them to talk to an aunt, uncle, grandparent, teacher or other trusted adult.

 

What to Talk About at Different Ages

Infants and toddlers (0-2 years): From birth, children learn about sexuality. Teach by your example. Help them name all the parts of the body. Tell them about the differences between boys and girls, men and women. Share your values.

Preschool children (3-4 years): Children this age are learning more about their bodies and about health. Answer their questions and talk openly about breasts, the penis, vagina, etc. You also can start to talk about safety from abuse, privacy and their "private" parts, and how they feel about their bodies.

Young children (5-8 years): You can talk to this age group about where babies come from and how they are born, families, death, sexuality, relationships, healthy bodies, etc. They may have questions or fears they have gotten from other children, TV or school. You can talk about how you and others think and feel about these issues. Use personal examples if you feel comfortable.

Pre-teens (9-12 years): This age marks the beginning of puberty when girls and boys go through big physical and emotional changes. Kids are concerned about the changes happening to them, how they look and what is "normal." It is important to pay attention to the influence of friends, TV, magazines, etc., and children’s needs for information and forming opinions and values. Keep communication open and encourage questions. Talk about good relationships, pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases and sexual assault. Reassure them about their worries and fears.

Teens (13-19 years): These are the years in which it is most likely girls and boys will become sexually active. They need to hear positive messages about new relationships and sexual expression, choosing when and how to become sexually active, as well as your values and concerns about healthy relationships, sexual activity, early pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases. They need both information and skills to make decisions that are right for them. Help them get the information and services they need to be safe by ensuring they can get to a good doctor, clinic or planned parenthood service.

 

Bingo as an Educational Tool

A good way to promote discussion and provide education to teens is to play bingo. Make up bingo cards with key words on your topic in each of the squares with several variations in cards so you can play an actual bingo game. As you call the "numbers" ("under the I, multiple partners"), ask true/false questions, discuss the topic and provide correct information. The prize could be a poster or other educational product related to the topic.

B I N G O
Be aware I will refuse ... Not true! Good habits Oh no!
  Multiple partners   Talk to Elders AIDS
Community
information		   Kissing    
  Peer pressure FREE Get involved Date rape
Harm reduction        
  Alcohol Masturbation    



Pilot coordinator Julie says:
When discussing sexual and reproductive health issues, it is important to be comfortable with your own sexuality, as well as your knowledge of the issues. Talking about sexuality can be taboo in some minds; however, it is a part of life. Talking and learning about sexual and reproductive health can lead to healthier lifestyles and families.
Julie Borle, Métis Child and Family Services Society, Edmonton, Alberta

 

The print version of the Sourcebook also contains information on print, web-based and audio-visual resources, and sample materials on educating children and youth about sexuality.

 

1  Marmalade or Jam ... A Recipe for Understanding AIDS, Health Promotion Unit, Department of Health and Social Services, Government of the Northwest Territories, Yellowknife, no date, p. 5.  (back to paragraph)

2  We are Part of a Tradition: A Guide on Two-Spirited People for First Nations Communities, Gilbert Deschamps, 2-Spirited People of the 1st Nations, Toronto, 1998, p. 36.  (back to paragraph)

3  "Self Esteem," Beyond the Basics: A Sourcebook on Sexual and Reproductive Health Education, Planned Parenthood Federation of Canada, Ottawa, 2001.  (back to paragraph)

4  Sacred Lives: Canadian Aboriginal Children and Youth Speak Out About Sexual Exploitation, Cherry Kingsley and Melanie Mark, Save the Children Canada, Vancouver, 2000, p. 31.  (back to paragraph)

 
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